Everyone knows someone who's a bit of a Knock-Off Nigel don't they?

A Knock-Off Nigel is the kind of guy, or girl,
who thinks it's fine to do everything on the cheap.
Knock-Off Nigel always nips to the bog when it's his round
in the pub, buys Knock-Off DVDs and steals money
from the purse of his own dear mother, the dirty toerag.

Well, for anyone out there who's a Knock-Off Nigel,
your days are numbered. You've been collared.
And people aren't going to put up with your
Knock-Off Nigel ways any longer.